So this is probably the wordiest Politico! that I’ve ever done, but it was frankly a miracle that I got through airport security without yelling about any number of idiotic procedures. I had words to say, dammit. Ultimately, there’s no way to win, though. Who benefits when being carried off screaming “3 ounces? What the fuck, 3 ounces? Are you insane??”

I’m sure there was some dude who said “Give me liberty or give me death,” but what the heck did he know about being an American, right? We’re at war, people!

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